Month: March 2025

My ex-wife Jenny told me the earth is flat and aliens lived underground and a reptilian race of them lived under the earth my apartment sat on, and my my apartment was a portal for them.

She had a permanent strange look in her eyes, and I knew she’d gone crazy.

After Jenny was evaluated and the men in the white coats took her away, reptilian aliens began streaming up from the floor of my apartment.

Then I got that strange look in my eyes, knew I’d gone crazy, and the men in the white coats came for me too.

The good news is Jenny and I fell madly in love again and kind of honeymooned in our new and permanent luxury home in the Virginia Beach Psychiatric Center.

Bob Boyd

He was charming at first
said all the right things
to woo her heart.

Unknown to her, he was
setting a trap.

Not long after the trap
was sprung and she
fell in love with him

he became controlling
and physically abusive.

She suffered his mental
and physical abuse for
over a tormented year.

Battered and beaten
down, she feared
leaving him.

He had told her
he’d hunt her down
and kill her if she
did.

Trapped and almost
killed when he smashed
her head against
a kitchen wall and
gave her a concussion

she became enraged
one night as he slept
and grabbed a kitchen
knife and stabbed him
to death.

Maybe it was murder,
but I’d call it self defense.

Bob Boyd

I love this upbeat, romantic song.
The married couple who sang it seemed
perfect for each other and totally in love.
I loved the playful way they interacted
in this musical celebration of their love.
I loved the way they looked together.
I loved the way they sang together.
But, alas, they got divorced years later.
I was saddened to read of their love’s demise.
I really thought they were forever.
And it so sad that seemingly true love
is often untrue or only temporarily true.

I was somewhere in my late teens when I first became enchanted by the intoxicating perfumes, the near celestial fragrances, of women.

It was as if those spellbinding scents were a part of them, not something they had strategically applied on their lovely skin.

And oh how wondrous it was when they sent love letters infused with their unique, ambrosial scents that rose out of those letters like flower-scented clouds from heaven with a tangible, loving part of them in those feminine fragrances.

And oh how I loved those enthralling, magical aromas that always captivated me, sometimes possessed me, a man driven madly in love with a woman, her ways, and her enchanting scents.

Bob Boyd

Outside my apartment window, I see
legions of pink petals flying off a
Dogwood tree

gliding merrily on the wind, feeling
a jubilation, a liberation, an ecstasy
of being free, released from
the Dogwood tree.

I wonder if they know their lives
will soon be over, yet believe
the last glorious victorious
days and nights
were more than worth it.

Bob Boyd

I couldn’t understand how their marriage
could endure without that primordial need,
that joyous, ecstatic physical union.

Then I remembered when as a teenager
loving a girlfriend beyond measure, beyond
anything I’d ever experienced, a love I’d
never imagined could exist in me.

A love that didn’t require that ecstatic
physical union, not for my lack of trying,
but for her higher teenage morals and
probably her fear of getting pregnant.

Despite it was asexual like my friend’s
marriage, that love seemed purer than
later consummated loves, and like all
all that was good and wonderful in
a perfect fairy tale world.

And maybe his asexual marriage was
closer to a purer, higher love that
had transcended the primordial need
for sex that is not the glue that holds
relationships together anyway.

Bob Boyd

I recall back in the seventies when an acquaintance was going through hard times, and his friends high on weed said, “Don’t worry it’s just karma, and one of them said, “Don’t bring me down.”

I came to dislike blowing another person’s hard times off to just karma; it seemed like an excuse to not really care about that person’s suffering.

Imagine if you were dying of a deadly, painful cancer, and someone said, “Don’t worry it’s just Karma,” as if you deserved it, as if it were no big deal.

Better if someone showed genuine concern and tried to be consoling. And I don’t like the theory that bad things are happening to you because you were a terrible person in a former life and you deserve your Karmic fate.

Bob Boyd

You probably know nightcrawlers are generally four to six inch earthworms that aerate the soil and rise out of the ground at night to eat decomposing organic matter.

Generally four to six inches doesn’t apply to Gargantuan, the horrifying, the gigantic, the carnivorous Greensboro Park Nightcrawler.

Fifteen to twenty feet in length, at least, circumference up to 3 feet, it’s a terror you don’t want to see. Believe me. You see it and you’re dead.

Appears only in the dark nights in Greensboro Park. Its lair, a hidden tunnel. Seems inert and lifeless until it senses you. Then like a sleeping rattlesnake that once awakened springs into action, it seizes you. And you won’t live to see the morrow.

If you unwittingly stumble upon this ghastly monstrosity on purpose or unwittingly, his crawling speed will shock you, 60 miles an hour usually. When he catches you, he will aerate you before he devours you, a torturously slow and slimy, agonizing death.

Bob Boyd

First the Aliens created Yeti as an experiment
and dropped him into the Himalayas.

Satisfied with that success, they created
the cryptid known as Bigfoot, a different
variety of Yeti, darker in color and
designed to live in a less severe climate.

They deposited him into a forest in North
America. The experiment a success, they
created hundreds more and settled them
in forests all over North America.

Because they wanted to keep Bigfoot safe from
hunters and those who would try to capture
him, they tweaked him with the ability to move
in and out of dimensions instantly, which is why
no one has killed or captured a Bigfoot to
this day, despite all the fake sightings
and conspiracy theories.

Bob Boyd

A guy videoed a young woman running naked
through an airport.

At first I thought maybe it was a streaking stunt,
and she was pretty and with a body that if you
were a woman and naked, you’d want a body
like hers.

But then she started shrieking and throwing
her cell phone at a wall. And it was clear she
was having a nervous breakdown or had
mental health issues.

The guy videoing her was laughing as if
the woman’s break with reality were a
joke.

But it was truly a sad situation, and I hope
that young woman got some help.

Bob Boyd

He wonders if the kundalini energy in him, that never reached full fruition in this life, will complete upon his death and merge his surviving consciousness into the cosmos aka eternal bliss cosmic consciousness.

He wonders like the Buddhist Bodhisattvas, if he’ll have a chance to forgo liberation, but instead of forgoing it to try to bring all sentient beings to total liberation, he’d like to have a choice between total liberation or a romantic liberation with an angelic woman in the heavens.

He realizes that is probably shortsighted, and that nothing he could imagine would be comparable to eternal bliss in cosmic consciousness, but the romantic in him pines for what he sees as eternal bliss with that angelic woman, like a happy ever after fairy tale, like the best feel good movie one could ever see, like the greatest love story imaginable.

Bob Boyd

Immature high school graduates seeking the glory,
and the fighting skills of being badass marines,
and returning home not to be messed with
fighting machines, strolled into a recruitment
office for the U.S. Marines.

But, just as in high school, they screwed around
so much in the recruiter’s office, he yelled,
“Get the hell out!”

They left laughing and realized they really didn’t
give a shit about being marines and had no idea
that the marine recruiter gave them the break of
their young lives.

Unknown to them, a war was heating up in a
distant South Asian country where approximately
58,000 American soldiers would die, one of them a classmate of theirs.

And odds are one or both of them would have
come home in a body bag or with PTSD for life.

One of the immature high school graduates joined
the Air Force, the other the Army. Both served
in Germany. Neither saw combat. Both
returned to the states alive.

Bob Boyd

He survived the werewolf attack miraculously with only a bite
But was compelled to howl and kill the following full moon night.
As a Bible believing Christian, he wondered what would be his afterlife fate.

Did the werewolf merely change him into a monster with that bite or had the beast also consigned him to hell?

He prayed night after night for God to lift the curse, yet the curse remained, and he came to see trying to lift the curse was as futile as a dwarf trying to become a giant.

The next full moon night right before the curse took hold of him with a Bible in his hand and prayers for forgiveness to God, he put a silver bullet loaded pistol to his head and pulled the trigger with the hope his noble act of ending the curse and sparing lives would send him to heaven despite his suicide.

Bob Boyd

Never imagined you could
levitate so effortlessly, Big.
I’m impressed with that feat
(no pun on foot intended).
Is there no limit to your
paranormal abilities?
And tell me true, are
you interdimensional
or do you appear and
disappear through portals?

~ Simon Magus

Passivity, Passivity, what have you done to your country?
That had such a rich history starting around 12,000 BC.
Once the Queen of faraway lands, an envy of the world,
peaceful people, beautiful women, breathtaking sights.
Passivity, Passivity, you allowed yourself to be overrun
with unending, unchecked hordes of invading migrants.
Guests ungrateful for your warm, welcoming generosity
that didn’t share or appreciate your country’s rich culture,
a country once one of the most peaceful on the planet,
and brought with them unimagined crime and strife.

Now your renowned heavenly haven has gone to hell.
Your women are raped. Your cities are crime-ridden.
The peace is destroyed, replaced with havoc and violence.
Essentially you have been conquered and diminished.
your glory days beyond restoration, gone forever.
Passivity, Passivity, it all should have been obvious,
but you let your misguided politics and destructive policies
bring your country, your culture, and your past glories down.
It saddens my heart remembering the country you once were.

Bob Boyd