Author: Bob Boyd

Professor Effing’s Monstrosities

The ever evil Professor Effing
Cooked up monstrosities
In his hidden lab in GSO, NC.
He unleashed them in a quiet neighborhood,
People walking dogs, some people jogging.
A sunny idyllic day for fun and play
Before thirty giant genetically modified
Mongolian Death Worms destroyed
Everything that moved in that neighborhood.
Walkers, joggers, dogs, cats and a car or two
Until they discovered they had no appetite for cars.
Professor Effing, his experiment a wild success
Took his show on the road to HP, NC.
Pray your neighborhood isn’t next.

Bob Boyd

Men Going Their Own Way Without Women

I completely understand MIGTOW
Men going their own way without women
Many men have been disappointed
Not always the man’s fault
Despite all the womansplaining claims
Been through that too many times like the
Nice guys finishing last cliche
And I’m also not one to put up
with a lot of toxic nonsense
That some men put up with unable to let go
Despite their lives been screwed up
Sometimes that clinging is based on the woman’s looks
Beautiful isn’t worth that high cost

Some screwed in courts favoring women
With high child support payments and alimony
Women getting everything, men practically nothing
Some get greedy leave a man for one with more stuff
I’m not saying all women are ill intentioned
I’m not saying all women are like gold diggers
I’m not saying all women treat nice guys badly

I’m saying relationships nowadays
aren’t what they used to be
More women leaving husbands
Social Media one of the causes
A woman can be like a siren online

And be far more picky with too many choices
And get an overinflated opinion of herself
And many of those myriad choices are bogus
Some have been dangerous predators

Some women get bored with a good, decent guy
That loves them and causes them no trouble
They long for the lure of bad boy abuses
Never understood that self destructive nonsense
Seems like a mental health issue to me
And they leave trails of broken hearts behind them

Teacher screwing up marriages
Engaging in sex with students
Not that all teachers are like that
But nearly every week another one
Caught cheating with a student
All over the TV and Internet news
And many are married and want to
Stay with their husbands despite
The odious cheating with a minor

Many marriages not lasting long
Some long ones ending, 30 years and bye bye
So I understand why play the game when the odds against you are
As high as gambling in a rigged casino and your heart is on the line.

Bob Boyd

More than a Dream

In my dream last night, or was it yours?
I know it was more than a dream.
You were too real, and so was I.
But how did we meet in that dream?
Do you know, or did you make it happen?

You seemed like a wonder woman
Who could make such things happen,
And I felt like I’d known you before,
My apologies if this is too much too soon,
But I felt as if we were soulmates.

Though I must confess, I don’t know
How the soulmates thing works.
Could there be such a thing as
Reincarnation, and we’d been
Together life after life?

And are you in this world or the afterlife?
You did seem a bit ethereal, and as I
Write this poem I’ll feeling distinct things,
Like the feeling I won’t see you again
Until I join you in the afterlife.

And with these last lines I’m now sure
the last dream I will have in this life
Is when I die and meet you in the Light,
And you kiss me, take my hand,
And welcome me into the afterlife.

Bob Boyd

Winter

Snow falling
Ice spreading
Ponds and lakes
Sheets of ice
Icicles sprouting
Upside down
Crystalline plants
Animals and birds
Taking cover
Flowers hiding
Insects burrowing
The ground shivering
Rocks freezing
Kids having fun

Bob Boyd

Played the Odds and Lost

She set love alight in my heart
When I was an idealistic sixteen.
We fell in love almost instantly;
It lasted about a year, and she left me.
A typical long distance romance
That didn’t work, me in MA her in NJ.
But I was too young to know the math
And calculate the near impossible odds,
Never dreamed she’d stop loving me.
With decades experience, age and wisdom
Now I know she was never right for me.

Bob Boyd

Missing Person Mystery

Overlooking the park, she saw him staggering,
Her presence hidden, not wanting him to see her;
She tried so hard to help him too many times.

Once her husband and a successful lawyer,
Now a wandering, begging homeless drunk.
She tried to help him after the inevitable divorce,

Let him stay in their home for awhile
Until he stole money from her purse,
Valuables from her living room to

Feed his ever consuming addiction.
She never saw him after that day in the park.
He had vanished and never found.

He had made enemies when a lawyer,
One of them might have killed him
And hid his body under a construction site.

He might have killed himself somewhere secret.
His disappearance remained one of those
Missing persons mysteries for the rest of her life.

She died a lonely, depressed ex wife,
Remembering on her deathbed when they
Had a fairy tale life she never wanted to end.

Bob Boyd

Malleable Man

Her searing words cut him to pieces
His dignity annihilated by her harangue
Her verbal abuse reached its end
Though a passive man, he said so long
Packed his belongings, left in a storm
Too late she realized she’d gone too far
She cried through the forlorn night,
Wiped her tears and burned his memories
A month later, tears dried up, crying gone
She found a another malleable man
And her patterns began

Bob Boyd

Death’s Eternity

Friends and generational icons
Dying everyday, expecting more this May
Death is having one hell of a payday
Towns, cities, states, countries and continents
Death’s unregulated slaughter everywhere
Sobbing loved ones across the aging globe
Their end times coming soon too
Eighty years nothing to patient Death
A millisecond in Death’s eternity
He’s been waiting for you from
The second you’re born.

Bob Boyd

The Con King

He became an ogre when his luck was on the line;
His mistress left him, his con business went under.
He beat his wife for stress relief six times.
Too drunk to beat her one more time,
He’d planned a seventh attack the next day.
He never got the chance, his wife beat him to it;
She stabbed him to death in the back sixty times.
And that was the celebrated end
Of the Con King, Diamonds Jack.

Bob Boyd

Invasion of the Palmetto Bugs

I lived in Florida for about twelve years
I liked the little lizards that seemed to constantly do push ups
Maybe it was a male mating thing, showing off to a lady lizard
They reminded of the lizards on the backs of comic books
You could send away for when I was a kid in Massachusetts

The palmetto bugs were another matter, a scourge to me
Giant obnoxious cockroaches that invaded everything relentlessly
And don’t think you could leave a lovely display of fruit on a table Overnight
A palmetto bug’s delight, probably snack on it in the night to your Fright
In the morning light when you saw it scurry away and tried to kill It

And if you succeeded in killing one, no problem to the palmetto bugs
More awaited the chance to invade your dwelling and annoy the Hell out of you
And when they died invading your home, they probably thought they’d be
Rewarded with a hundred palmetto virgins in a palmetto bug Heaven

My worst encounter with one of these bastard bugs was when I saw one six feet up on a garage wall. When I went to attack him he flew off the wall nearly dive bombing into me. Shocked, I never knew they could fly
A sight almost reminiscent of a monster in a horror movie
Crawling out of the grave coming back to life

And if you’re a palmetto bug reading this, imagine me giving the finger to you
And if you think I should be beyond such a crude gesture at my age
I never claimed to have completely grown up

After all, I’m the guy who can walk off a job after over twenty years Of working there
Provoked by an outrageous, unpardonable slight by the director. And I’m proud of that

Bob Boyd

The Lamas

The lamas were said to have preternatural powers,
Unattainable by most holy men and women.
Stories about their paranormal abilities, legendary.
Elite Tibetan priests, it seemed they could rule the skies
Or create impenetrable force fields to protect Tibet
By reciting powerful, sacred mantras and
Spinning massive prayer wheels continuously,
Releasing thousands of protective prayers.
Tragically, when the Chinese invaded Tibet
Their bullets were stronger than mantras
And spinning prayer wheels,
And the lamas had to flee.

Bob Boyd

Guru at Harvard U.

Saw the poster, the Guru at Harvard U
Thursdays 7 PM come experience him
Open to the public in a reserved room
Got there at 7, didn’t see the Guru

A Devotee said, he’s in Europe
But his consciousness will be here at 7
Wondered if that were true or imaginary
Devotees so gullible, believe anything.

At 7PM a phenomenal, palpable spiritual energy
Lit up the room. Sitting in meditation, I got blitzed
Lasted for hours, higher than I’d ever been

Devotees said the Guru meditated on them
Every night. Spiritual energy pouring in
Sometimes awakening them from sleep
Bona fide powerhouse guru

Most gurus couldn’t do what he could
Years past and the troubles began
Women coming forth and reporting
How the guru sexually abused them

A common tale with most of the gurus
Who came to America triumphantly
Like kids set loose in a candy store
They couldn’t resist the exotic treats

Didn’t care for the Hare Krishna Guru’s
Path with shaved heads, the chanting, etc
But at least A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
The real deal who behaved like a true and saintly guru.

Bob Boyd

Oh How I loved Your Beautiful Red Hair

I must have been sixteen
When I saw you at the dance.
With your red hair you looked beautiful.
I always loved the uniqueness of red hair, still do.

I asked you to dance, surprisingly you accepted.
Tongue tied, overcome by your beauty, I couldn’t talk.
You didn’t talk either. Maybe you felt the same way.

I remember when you and two other girls phoned me.
Not sure how you ladies got my phone number,
Didn’t care, a compliment to have three girls calling me.
I didn’t know you were one of them until you said you danced with me.
And kidding, I said, “You were lucky.” You cracked me up when you said, “No you were lucky!” and told me you were the red-headed girl.

In retrospect had I been wiser back then I would have said
You are right and told you how blown away I was by your red hair
And your beautiful looks, and how I was too shy to start a conversation.
How I hate possible missed opportunities like that,
All those if onlys. And God Almighty I had so many misses.

Bob Boyd

Amy, Lady Dudley (nee Robsart 7 June 1532 – 8 September 1560)

Amy Robsart married Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester,
A loveless marriage, the earl wanted Queen Elizabeth I,
And Queen Elizabeth fell in love with him.

Amy heard a rumor she was going to be poisoned to death
To get her out of the way so the Earl could be with the queen.
Amy died from a suspicious fall down a flight of stairs;
Some believed she was pushed. Preachers proclaimed foul play.

A ghost began haunting Kenilworth Castle where Amy lived,
Thought to be Amy from dying a shocking death.
Supposedly she appeared before Robert Dudley
And told her husband, “Soon you’ll be joining me.”
Dudley died a few days later.

Oh Amy were you really a ghost
Or were the apparitions just
Low frequency sounds causing
Strange feelings and fake visions?

Whatever the cause, ghost or sounds,
tragic you died under suspicious
Circumstances and didn’t have a full life.

Bob Boyd

A Young College Girl’s Demise

Good girl, honor roll in high school
Nice, caring, friendly and well liked
Went to church, remained a virgin
Her hard work in high school
Earned her a scholarship
With the University of Vermont
First year, studied hard day and night
Wasn’t there to party
Focused on good grades
And becoming a social worker
In her Sophomore year met a senior
Didn’t know he was a playboy
Who’d slept with many women
And bragged about his conquests
After many dates and persuasions
Took her virginity and moved on
Gave the young college girl AIDS
Does that seem fair to you?
And this poem isn’t fiction.

Bob Boyd

A Young College Girl

A Young College Girl

Good girl, honor roll in high school
Nice, caring, friendly and well liked
Went to church, remained a virgin
Her hard work in high school
Earned her a scholarship
With the University of Vermont
First year, studied hard there
Wasn’t there to party
Focused on good grades
And becoming a social worker
In her Sophomore year met a senior
Didn’t know he was a playboy
Who’d slept with many women
Bragged about all his conquests
After many dates and persuasions
Took her virginity and moved on
Gave the young college girl AIDS
Does that seem fair to you?

Bob Boyd

Three Sisters

One became a PhD
The other an MD
The third never
Amounted to anything
According to her critical mother
An underachiever
A ne’er do well
Never went to college
Lacked the expected ambition
Required of the three sisters
In their high achievers family
Father a prominent lawyer
Mother a distinguished professor
Sister number three just
Worked selling ladies shoes
In an upscale retail store
When the mother and father
Got old and became seriously ill
One and two, too busy with their careers
Number three was there for her parents
Their Caregiver twenty four hours a day
Until they both came to their final ends

Bob Boyd

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