I remember about three years ago
at the vintaged age of 70 and 7
To my disbelief, I was in a hospital
cancer, the doctors said
I couldn’t believe it, seemed impossible
hadn’t drank alcohol since age 27
didn’t smoke, rarely ate red meat
no cancer in my family
yet there I was diagnosed with,
mercifully, a slow moving blood cancer
that wasn’t about to kill me speedily
when the reality finally dawned on me
when the seriousness of the condition
became fully apparent to me
to my surprise, I didn’t give a damn
a woman I knew back then when I
worked for nonprofit helping the elderly
said it was higher power, as if the Divine
had a hand in my indifference
but it felt as if somehow I’d gotten
a Zen attitude despite the fact the cancer
was hellbent on killing me with Grim in tow
and eventually with close to a year of
infusions and medications it went away
one thing I know that helped with my indifference
as now, as then, I didn’t have a woman in my life
had I a girlfriend or a wife, I would have worried
about her worrying about me and been anxious about
dying and leaving her alone and being without her.
Bob Boyd