birds chatter in trees
insects chatter beneath my feet
most I cannot hear
I wonder if any fish besides whales
chatter in the sea
if so
I wonder what they talk about
and if they make small talk
or discuss more profound things
maybe some are telepathic
and read each other’s minds
like dead people are alleged to do
in the infinity beyond this world
and its seas

i’m not sure why
but i have reached
a state of equanimity
or maybe indifference
where i no longer care
if i were to die into
nothingness

if my like ended and
there was no afterlife
if what was me was
obliterated into
me no more forever
with every vestige
of what i had been
erased
i just don’t care

this is not just
false bravado
this is real
i just don’t care

based on the many
ndes i’ve read and
listened to

i believe the afterlife
is glorious
compared to earth life

but if all those wondrous
nde reports were illusionary
and one just died and that
was it and nothing more
i’m good with that

and quite frankly
if reincarnation is real
if we are all fated
to keep reincarnating
i would rather die
into nothingness than
to ever return to earth
again

bob boyd

i think a lot of characteristics in a person’s
behavior and personality are predetermined
like psychopaths
who
i learned yesterday cannot be changed
who
did not wake up one day and decide to be
that way
you might be wondering what this has
to do
with a woman who was uncommonly nice
she was a woman who always woke up
happy
this was not a choice
it was i believe predetermined in her
and unlike most people i have met
few seemed to have the characteristic
i saw her as a lucky anomaly and i
never understood how anyone could
ever wake up happy
just like i never understood whey some
people are fated to be born
psychopathic
and along with waking up happy
she was also uncommonly nice

bob boyd

some butterflies live up to ten weeks
but most die after only a few
i imagine to a butterfly a few weeks
or ten weeks could seem as long as
70 or 100 years to a human
that is if a butterfly is capable of
having any idea of its time on earth
but in regard to a butterfly’s lifespan
many don’t make it to the 3 to 10 weeks
butterflies have scores of predators
who hunt and devour them
that aside i wonder where butterflies
go when they die
i hope they don’t just die into
nothingness
imagine if there really is a heaven
and butterflies dance their
in celestial skies

bob boyd

Sad how beauty is so transient,
like lilies in nature ever fading.

Beauty blooms for only a blink
in the timeless span of eternity.

Sad how it is like a mere illusion,
that soon vanishes forever.

Bob Boyd

i never pine over a love that didn’t last
i don’t hold on to broken romances
just like one doesn’t hold onto broken things
but sometimes i wonder whatever happened
to my first serious girlfriend even though
she left me for for a more monied other
i wonder if she is still on the planet
or passed away some time ago
i suspect she probably had a good life
maybe married a doctor since she
planned on becoming a nurse
i hope she had a decent life without
any horrors that happen to so many

bob boyd

the leaves that bud
crinkle and fall
not unlike humans
who also crinkle
and fall

but unlike leaves
we also stiffen and
have a longer season
to live

and maybe like leaves
that are reborn
perhaps we are too

bob boyd

leafy gods and goddesses
that die and are reborn
with the seasons
I can see how past
pagans and maybe
present pagans could
believe in such deities
who like the plants and
the crops die and are
reborn in the spring
I’m not a pagan but
I can see the appeal
and like the imagery

bob boyd

Beyond self consciousness 
Higher consciousness
Beyond transitory world 
Ecstasy and serenity 
Beyond conception
Hail Transcendence! 
Doorway to Eternity.

Bob Boyd

confused by conflicting thoughts 
and fears, her mind iffy stood him up, 
didn’t answer his calls

rejected nice guy perfect man for her 
countless things in common

two months later her mind and 
emotions unconflicted, fears gone 
realized she made a mistake, 
lost a good, kind man
called him to apologize and 
accept a date with him.

too late, chances gone, good guy lost
he found the right unconfused 
woman and had no time for her 
after her rejections 
and confused nonsense. 
It seems I’ve heard this story before.

Bob Boyd

At 
first
couldn’t 
get 
enough 
of 
each 
other.

That lasted 
a loving 
six months
until the 
ardor began 
to wane.

Little things I 
did bothered you
and versa vice 
for me too.

Because we acted like 
adults we’re still together
through the hard times 
through the lasting times. 

Bob Boyd

Proud honkers, wings flapping, 
Beaks bobbing, surround us
Delicious crumbs of bread
I decorate the ground with
Ravenous bird mob vying for manna
Chorus of wings beating above me
Air vibrating magically 
More regal Canadian Geese
Landing on makeshift air strip
Bread crumbed ground
Like San Fran International 
Suddenly something surprising
Never happened before
An urgent avian beak 
Tugging at my pant leg
Saying me, me, me
My turn for some bread. 

Bob Boyd

Sometimes I wonder how Pat Curran is doing now
I wonder if she is still alive or gone to the Great Unknown 
She was my sweetheart when we were both sweet sixteen
Blonde and beautiful, she caught my attention at a YMCA Teen Dance
With a single close dance, magical things happened, my heart in flight
I felt romantic love bloom; she did too, in our tender sweet innocence
But, woe, she was from Montclair, New Jersey and I was from Woburn, Mass
At least we had romantically amazing summers together; she stayed with a relative then
A song You Belong To Me was our song; our hearts chimed to it, we lived it
But, oh God, those falls, winters and springs were so unbearably cold without her
Summers were never as warm and exciting and as euphoric for me 
Her hugs and her kisses launched my heart into a heaven like place 
The sight of her so amazingly beautiful, so perfect in all ways 
Made me feel like I’d won the biggest romantic lottery ever
And, guess what? We had vowed to marry when we grew older
A fairy tale happy ever after teenage dream I always had
Finding the right girl in high school and being with her forever
But, woe, then came the final summer when the weather cooled off
And she dropped a bomb on me that blew up my heart and ended our love
She told me she was sorry she was seeing a freshman at Rutgers U.
I bawled my brains out, my heart sank like the Titanic; I didn’t want to live
My dreams dead, my fairy tale romantic notions shattered, nothing mattered
But, hey, who hasn’t lost a love and who, like me, didn’t get over it
Still sometimes I wonder how Pat Curran is doing now.   

Bob Boyd

I don’t care about her wrinkles
She is still beautiful to me
Her inner beauty is forever
My love for her is too.

Bob Boyd

The rush. The joy. The heaven.
Of a new love.
Incomparable. Joyous. Ecstatic. 
Pity like life
It’s impermanent.
Though love remains.
It never reaches those 
Rapturous heights of   
The newness again.

Bob Boyd

Supposedly people can create thought
form entities, tulpas, usually in human
form with one’s mind through concentration 
and visualization.

Tibetan monks are said to have created 
tulpas to rid them of attachments
impeding their spiritual progress, seemingly
kind of like a temporary helper that was
disposed of when the attachment was
dispelled.

Long ago, I read of a black magic magician
creating familiars in the same way, for what
I do not know. I suspect for nefarious 
purposes, if real thought form entities can
be created with one’s mind.

Now there are people creating tulpas for
companionship. There’s even a website with
a forum about creating tulpas and other
facets of having one as a friend.

I don’t know if tulpas are real or imaginary,
but people who create them believe they
are sentient. 

Maybe they are right. Maybe one can create
a tulpa with the power of one’s mind. I don’t 
believe it’s possible, but I could be wrong. 

Bob Boyd

Once beautiful, young and sprightly
Seemed like they’d be young forever, 
like silver screen immortals.

No longer beautiful, young and sprightly,
old and only silver screen images now,
breaking hips from falls, many dead.

If only they could have been immortals,
beautiful, young and sprightly forever.

Bob Boyd

sitting here
thinking about
my life that’s past
remembering women
I’ve been with
too many to recall
them all
none lasted
beyond seven years
few stand out
none I’d want
to be with again
sometimes I think
if only I could
have a redo 
and maybe find
lasting love
at other times
I think 
gain the nonattachment
of a Buddhist monk
and forget about 
women and 
lasting love

Bob Boyd

Some people seem to thrive on
arguments
word duels on x and elsewhere
I’ve no time
no patience for that
besides arguments
usually amount to nothing
disruptive
wastes of time
as for trolls
the saying
don’t feed the trolls
seems wise
better, if able,
shut them down
delete them if
you control the media
you might indulge
in arguments
as for me
I’ve better things to do
and in the grander
scheme of things
they really have
no relevance

Bob Boyd

seconds
minutes
hours
days
weeks
months
years
lives
everything
all
eventually
gone
forever
sometimes
I feel
I’ve learned
the point of
it all
the TRUTH
from
NDEs
Eastern
Western
philosophies
but
then I
realize
even these
sources
could be
entirely
wrong
as time
and my
time
passes by
and is no
more
it’s all
so fleeting

Bob Boyd