Category: Poems

Unknown in her life, a quiet reclusive woman
In death her supernatural powers shone
Lights flashed above her grave day and night
Onlookers felt a palpable healing force
Streaming from her cemetery plot
Locals claimed she was a saint or a witch
Tired of all the chatter and crazed visitors
The cemetery owner unearthed her body
And cremated her remains and died
Of a fright a day later, his face horrified

Bob Boyd

The aliens came through my bedroom wall.
They scared the bejesus out of me!
Little greys seized me, hypnotized me,
and levitated me to their UFO in the sky
When the head grey alien saw me,
he grimaced and measured me.
I saw the look of disappointment
in his big black almond-shaped eyes.
He frowned at the little greys and spoke
some kind of weird alien gibberish,
and his little grey minions sent me home
like an undesirable, undersized fish.
Frankly I was grateful to not make the cut.
My cow Bessie did, and she is in the field
of my dairy farm behind my house
Surgically sliced, diced, and bloodless.

Bob Boyd

Consider the theory that aliens are the future us
A curious evolutionary leap, more so than
Cro magnons to our current refined appearances
Imagine future humans, theorized to look like this:
Reconfigured faces and bodies in a far future
Larger heads, bigger brains, oval eyes, thinner bodies
Navigating the past in saucer-shaped time machines
Perhaps traveling back in time but for what
An attempt to reshape humanity’s future
Stop a nuclear war that would kill off many of us
And why so mysterious and obscure
If the theory is remotely plausible
And speaking of time, maybe, as the saying goes
Time will tell.

Bob Boyd

Before World War II, invisible, interdimensional aliens came
From two alien worlds, one world full of evil, demonic creatures,
The other full of compassionate, godlike beings.
First the malevolent ones occupied Hitler and leaders of the axis powers
to start the agreed upon alien war and take over planet earth,
Occupy it and destroy human life.
The benevolent ones occupied Roosevelt and the leaders of the allied powers
To try to win the agreed upon alien war and save the planet
And prevent the mass destruction of human life.
The war won by the aliens controlling the allied powers,
They destroyed all the aliens controlling the axis powers
And remained on earth invisibly with the intent to try to prevent humans
From destroying themselves.

Bob Boyd

She said she astral traveled to Jupiter and Mars.
I said, isn’t it risky to leave your body like that.
No way, she said. I’ve been doing this for years.
She said tonight I’m going to travel to Neptune.
I wondered if she’d get lost traveling so far.
Next day her body was unoccupied, and I didn’t
Know what to do. She had a pulse, but barely.
A month passed and she still had a weak pulse,

I was worried, knowing she had gotten lost.
Her doctor declared she was comatose.
I knew that was untrue. I knew she got lost
Somewhere in the vastness of the astral plane.
A year went by, still no sign of her, she expired.
At the wake, she sat up in the coffin smiling
Alive and back from her trip to Neptune.

Bob Boyd

Holy, devout deviant studying to be a priest
Hoping God would heal all the evil in him.
In his last year in seminary still unhealed,
Killed a young woman behind Salisbury Station.
After the murder, he got assigned to a parish in Italy,
Killed seven more young women, never got caught.
Overcome with heinous bloodlust, got careless.
Murdered a young woman in the confessional.
Right before the police were ready to arrest him,
He hung himself to death in the church’s chapel,
Went to Hell and became one of the Devil’s own.

Bob Boyd

Wendigo Wendigo where did you go?
I’ve searched for you everywhere high and low.
Are you afraid of my Werewolf prowess?
Does my howl render you powerless?
Someday under an auspicious full moon
I’ll find you and your body I will hewn
Before you die I’ll say this is for Sue
My sister you killed in 2002.

Bob Boyd

Boulders made of granite
Fields of them
Making people
Disappear in them
No one knows how
Or why
Some think UFOs
Live under them
Another theory
Maybe a portal
Or two
Is the clue
But nobody
Knows for sure
More 411
Disappearances

Bob Boyd

I heard the horrifying howls
That chilled my blood
That terrified me
That froze my body
And I knew another
Person was going to
Be shredded to pieces
On that full moon night
And I knew the beast
Was coming for me
I barred my doors
Locked my windows
Loaded my shogun
With regular bullets
Hoping without silver
My shots could stop him
The werewolf smashed
The door open with ease
And leaped upon me
Before I could shoot
A miracle happened
Huge hairy hands
Pulled him off me
And strangled him
To a whining death
Bigfoot to the rescue

Bob Boyd

I was tired of all the BS about supposed evil dolls,
The nonsense about them being cursed or possessed.
When my aunt a foolish believer in all paranormal things
Bought a raggedy doll named The Evil Victoria,
I guffawed at her paying $1,000 for that obvious fake.
When that healthy woman died of unknown causes
A day later, I didn’t entertain suspicious conclusions.
When my uncle took over store and died the same way,
I more than began to entertain those suspicious conclusions.
And not wanting to see or touch the doll to throw it out,
I torched the store right after my uncle died and left it to me.
It burned to the ground reduced to smoldering ashes,
But that damn doll remained sitting and smiling in a chair
Untouched by the burning flames of the fire.

Bob Boyd

he used to ward off vampires
with his trusty Christian cross

his never failing vampiric repellent
that vanquished those fiends

he’d flash it in their fanged faces
and poof they were done

but a new strain of vampires
were resistant to the cross

one grabbed it out of his hand
and broke it in two pieces

as if it were a flimsy toy
as if it had no more power

his only saving grace
was the stake
he pulled out of his belt
and stabbed the vampire
in the heart with
and prayed the stake
would never lose
its power

the vampire done
melted into the floor
and was no more
far as he knew

Bob Boyd

John Worthington lived in the 12 century.
He never believed the stories about vampires,
nonsense he always decried.

But in the stillness of a foreboding night,
he heard the scream of a damsel attacked.
With his sword drawn, he rushed to her aid
and saw a fang-toothed fiend about to
sink his fangs into her unwilling throat.

The grotesque creature turned and hissed,
bared its fangs and charged at him. Almost
unstrung by that horrifying, menacing sight,
he back up a bit before he regained his nerve
and cleaved the fiend’s head off with his sword.

He carved a stake from a nearby branch of a tree
and slammed it into the undead vampire’s heart.
And he never doubted the existence of vampires again.

Bob Boyd

fifteen-year-old Danny identified as a dog
his parents and his teachers went along with it
even when he barked too loud
at home and in school
he slept in a dog house in his room
he wagged his imaginary tale
his mother fed him soybean doggy bones
his gender fluid girlfriend Emma
took him for walks on a long leash
everything was grand until Danny growled at a pitbull
and the pitbull tore the shit out of him
now Danny identifies as a fire breathing dragon
and plans to scorch that pitbull into oblivion
once he heals from all the torn flesh and the bites

Bob Boyd

He always felt he was connected to the cosmos.
He wondered if he was close to becoming enlightened.
He pondered the mysteries of the universe day and night.
He died without attaining enlightenment.
He needed more incarnations
to climb higher on the evolutionary ladder.
But he’d been preternaturally advanced
for a single-celled amoeba.
Maybe he had buckets of bad karma
in a former life and had to
take a step backward
to atone for heinous behaviors
as that lower rung amoeba
with his human consciousness still intact.
But I’m just guessing.

Bob Boyd

Fred told me
he was going back with Nora.
I cautioned him
it will be great
for about a month
she’ll be changed
you’ll be changed,
a blissful honeymoon
phase.
then Nora and
you will become
your real selves again
and be restuck in the rut
of a rotting relationship.
Fred didn’t take my advice
six months later
Nora drove him crazy
Fred drove Nora crazy
and they broke up again.

Bob Boyd